Several Heinekens and Carlings may well have muddled my brain, but this seemed a shambolic England performance. It's easy to criticise, they say, so here goes.
MILNER. Looked like a startled hen. And that was just during the national anthem. Maybe he never learnt the words, but he needn't google them as we won't be seeing him again this tournament. Being hauled off after half an hour will have shattered his confidence.
GREEN. The newspapers will have covered this. A right old howler. He's another player that shouldn't play again this tournament.
KING. Someone so injury prone shouldn't be in any tournament squad. Is someone suddenly expecting him to put all his injury woes behind him because it's the World Cup? Ain't gonna happen.
LAMPARD. Where was he for the first hour of the game? I don't think the commentator mentioned him once. Though he did improve in the last half hour.
CAPELLO. Clearly starting Milner was a mistake. And Green was not the right selection. Hart was. A baptism of fire for a man who hasn't managed in a tournament before, but I'd back him to turn it around.
They're the negatives. Now the up-side:
JOHNSON. England's best player. Looked confident going forward and reliable at the back.
HESKEY. Although one-on-ones with a keeper aren't his speciality, he's a formidable presence up front and set up the goal with an incisive pass. That said, he was a spent force after about 65 minutes, and Crouch probably would have come on earlier, had we not already burned two substitutions.
The other players just did OK. The Americans looked dangerous on the break, but they were really motivated for this. Can't see them being as 'up' for the Algeria and Slovenia games.